Joy Kendra wrote the following description of an erotic embodiment & intimacy private session she received:
After years of crippling anxiety and shame about failed performance, I am drawn to book a session with a non-dual teacher I have worked with before. Adam is hard to describe as he doesn’t talk about whatever state he has achieved, and has written no books telling others how to get there. But I always experience his energy as profoundly inclusive, coming from a Oneness that is expansive and non-judgmental. There is no lecture, no discourse – but in his Being he gives a deep permission for whatever is arising.
When we meet, he gives me the choice of the chair or the couch. Instinctively I sit down on the latter. It’s not a huge couch, but there is room for two. Unbeknownst to me, we are about to get physically close.
I knew Adam does what he calls “erotic embodiment” work, but I’m not really sure what that means. The closest I have come is via a video on his website (watch here). A female participant in his course has fallen in love with her sexuality beyond her vagina and she embodies the “Juice of Life.” Her joy is captivating – I know I want that!
Adam and I have some verbal exchanges where he gently challenges my beliefs (And what is wrong with anxiety?). Then he asks if I’d like to be held. Not many men have touched me in my life, but I have no hesitation. This isn’t sexual in the usual male-female way.
I curl into his body, noticing a smell that is both earthy and male. Tears come as I allow myself to be mothered. His stroking of my head feels especially comforting. I appreciate that he checks in to make sure I am comfortable. We change positions so I am lying with my back to the front of his body. As the energy builds, I stroke my body, especially my stomach and groin area.
I share an old memory. Adam sees my ability to resist the invasive energy of my parents as a strength. This had never occurred to me! He also assures me that the shell of my tortoise self will be there whenever I need it. I become more and more in my animal body, luxuriating in the pleasure of moving to these ancient rhythms.
I get up and move more freely. Adam makes gentle sounds to match my own. There is a harmony and synchronicity even though we are no longer touching. In the end, I simply sit, full of wonder. I’ve never meditated this deeply. Even though I know there is no right or wrong meditation, this experience feels sublimely right.
Beyond words, I tell Adam when he asks. Expanded. No comings and goings. No goal, no destination.
And anxiety? No doubt she will arise again, but hopefully more as a friend. For now, I am content to walk home, burying my nose in every flower like a bee. I’m not sure how I managed to surrender to this session with Adam, but I don’t question it.
That night in the Dreamtime I am driving again, although in real life macular degeneration has meant forfeiting this activity. I have two vehicles but purchase another, a used truck, white in color. Someone parked next to my truck dents my door with their door. We exchange insurance information in a relaxed manner. Vehicles often are a dream symbol for the body. It’s a simple dream, but one that points to a wholeness beyond “dents”, to a new harmony close at hand.
